Yes, I’m going there and I’ve been there.
Now your alone and wondering What the hell happened, What do I do now? It sounds cold and I’m sorry but facts are facts. Find a local grief share group a lot of churches provide this to anyone or talk with friends, clergy or rabbi and tell them what you feel. The sooner the better. I found a grief share group and went two weeks after my wife passed away. Only you will know when and who to talk to but do it now! If you are having thoughts of suicide get in touch with some help.
Available 24 hours every day
Think of what your spouse would think of what you want to do. Think of the sadness your kids and loved ones will go through if you manage to pull it off.
Assuming you have decided to speak with someone good for you your on your way to turn to a new chapter in your life and that’s OK. It does not in any way change the life you had it’s just new and differed. In time you will not cry when you think of your previous chapters and will be able to talk about them with fondness and even smile.