Getting out of the house is a good way to start. The best thing you can do for yourself is to be good to yourself. Go see a movie if you don’t want to interact with others right away, its OK! Go places that you went too together it may be hard but in time it will get easier and the sadness will turn into a fondness for good memories. How much time? Well, that all depends on how long it’s been and how soon you start. You may be thinking “I can’t do this at my age” or you may feel “people will think poorly of you”. If you are as lucky as me people encouraged me to start getting out after the first six months by suggesting I do something with my time so I don’t sit around feeling sorry for myself they even said my wife wouldn’t want me to be unhappy. You need to realize its OK for you to have your own life it’s like learning to walk again starting with small steps they take time but before you know it you will be taking bigger steps. The main thing to keep focused on is whatever you do does not in any way minimize or disrespect the life you had and the one you love. Remember it’s only you turning to a new chapter so make every day count and live it like you mean it.
For whatever reason, some of your friends that are married and enjoyed getting together as couples will drift away. It is not because they don’t like you they do It’s just a different dynamic now, stay in touch regularly with them, have a lunch or dinner with them they want to stay in touch and care how you’re doing.
So how do you find more friends that are like minded and you have things in common with? I was very fortunate to have found a group within the Meetup community. Meetup is a social platform and was founded Following the September 11 attacks in 2001, the site’s co-founder Scott Heiferman publicly stated that the manner in which people in New York City came together in the aftermath of that traumatic event inspired him to use the Internet to make it easier for people to connect with strangers in their community. If you want to read about its history. click here or just go to Meetup.com you will have to register and its super easy and safe. Once you signed up and are logged in you can browse all the different groups within the distance you choose. Just type in what your interests are and read what they do and what they’re about. You can also see how members belong and the events they have. This is a very good resource and I highly commend it. If you have more questions about meetup before you sign up, leave it in the comments.
Local groups like the Lions, Moose lodges or eagles lodge are also a good way to get to know people. What I like about these groups is they are charity based and do good for the community. The reason I am suggesting to join something is whether you realize it or not you need to feel like you belong. Yes, you do.
This is as hard for me to write as it is for you to read but maybe I can clear up a few things to help guide you in your journey. I can remember thinking to myself and say “Now I have to send out the thank you…reply’s, read the condolences and finalize all of the unpleasant details”. You may find it hard to function at all, I know I did. If your lucky your children or close family relatives will help you and you need to let them its part of their grieving process as well. It is said that the 5 stages of grief and loss are: 1. Denial and isolation; 2. Anger; 3. Bargaining; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance.
People who are grieving do not necessarily go through the stages in the same order or experience all of them. I seem to have experienced them all at the same time or at least #4 and #5 were at the same time and I don’t think I experienced #3 at all. Some lasted longer than others and I still have days that I ask the question Why?
Now your alone and wondering What the hell happened, What do I do now? It sounds cold and I’m sorry but facts are facts. Find a local grief share group a lot of churches provide this to anyone or talk with friends, clergy or rabbi and tell them what you feel. The sooner the better. I found a grief share group and went two weeks after my wife passed away. Only you will know when and who to talk to but do it now! If you are having thoughts of suicide get in touch with some help.
Think of what your spouse would think of what you want to do. Think of the sadness your kids and loved ones will go through if you manage to pull it off.
Assuming you have decided to speak with someone good for you your on your way to turn to a new chapter in your life and that’s OK. It does not in any way change the life you had it’s just new and differed. In time you will not cry when you think of your previous chapters and will be able to talk about them with fondness and even smile.
Time just fly’s by doesn’t it? So here is where I am in my Amazon selling journey. I killed it in the first two months then BAM! The bottom fell out, and it’s all my fault. I saw the gold ring and could not resist reaching for it. All I can say is you have to crawl before you can walk. I saw all the big profits that the Privet label guys were making, so I got sidetracked and instead of following my original plan I got into things like building a website, sending away to China for samples. I even became affiliated with a global book distributor so here’s the bottom line. I ordered coloring books that I got from the book dealer at a 35% discount only to find I could have bought them from Amazon cheaper yea dumb huh? During all this time of reaching for the gold ring, my inventory dwindled to about 37 books with a very low selling price, so cheap I even lost twenty-five cents on one of them due to Amazon’s fees so I re-priced my little inventory so I would not get burned again. My last check was only fifty-one dollars, and some change which was what woke me up to what I had been doing was getting greedy. So now I have all this inventory that is six dollars an item that is on page two and three where no one ever looks resulting in no sales. What do I do to fix this mess? I still have to pay thirty-nine dollars a month and sell forty-one items each month or drop down to a non-pro account and pay another dollar to Amazon in selling fees for each item sold.
Here is what I discovered. I took the books that I had started selling them as Merchant Fulfilled. I built a spreadsheet that had six charts with each weight break down for mailing media, and I found I could make money on postage. Take a look at the table below as I explain how the finer details of merchant fulfilled work.
Up to 1 Pound $2.61
Postage on sale
Actual Postage to Mail
15% Amazon Referral Fee
Variable Closing Fee
Left after Amazon Fee’s
The last batch of books I bought was over one thousand and was two hundred dollars that break down to about twenty cents per book. When I sold this book in the example on Amazon as FBA Fulfilled By Amazon I lost a quarter because of fees (If you want to know leave a comment, and I will post it). In this FBM example, you can see, I made a little over three dollars on the four-dollar book. I also figured out that if I made the mailing boxes, I would be able to save even more. So Combining that and the fact I was also saving fifty cents per book by not sending it to amazons warehouse not to mention they sometimes transfer your stuff to other stores which, you guessed it they charge a fee. Even though it shows three dollars and twenty-one cents, on average in this selling sincere I could be as high as four dollars in my pocket instead of losing twenty-five cents.
If you have noticed the “mailing supplies” are only two-cents that is for the tape to close the boxes. I found a way to make my boxes for free “free is good” Everywhere you look people are throwing away cardboard of all kinds and sizes I did some experimenting and came up with standard sizes that I could pre-make and have ready for shipping. I made a sheet metal template I put down on two sheets of cardboard and just trace it with a razor knife. I can make two at once turning out about forty boxes in a few hours or less. If I was one of the big booksellers, I could get mailers for about fifteen cents each. I would have to be mailing over one hundred books a day to get discounts like that, for now, I have not found any boxes for less than a dollar or two so for me that’s a significant saving.